On my way back home from work today,
I saw a woman eating dinner
By herself.
She was at an outdoor café,
Munching on some French fries and looking
Somewhere way off,
In the distance.
For a second I thought, well,
Perhaps she’s waiting for somebody else
To fill the empty seat across
The table.
Then I noticed her plate of food,
Mostly eaten.
I understood then:
Nobody was coming.
Suddenly a memory from a long time ago
Swept into focus. I had wanted sushi, badly,
But I had nobody to eat with.
I ended up sitting alone
At a packed restaurant.
The waitress looked at me
As if I had a strange disease
When she took my order.
I could just see it in her eyes.
I wanted to shout,
“So fucking what? I don’t have anybody
To eat with tonight. I just want some
Goddamn sushi, then I want to pay
And go home.”
I looked at all the other tables,
People smiling at each other while
Lifting up maki, nigiri, filling themselves
With with each other, while I sat alone
Filling my mouth with food.
Later, the waitress came back
With a bill that was for only half the food
I had eaten.
She looked at me with eyes that simply said,
“I’m sorry. You better pay quickly,
Before my boss finds out
I gave you so much free
Expensive food.”
I thought to myself,
Maybe I should have just ordered
Take-out.
I paid and didn’t look back.
I haven’t eaten alone since then.
As I stood there on Division
Watching this woman eating alone
It took every ounce of strength
To keep me from running over there
And filling that empty seat.
D.H. Lee
(via Swanksalot)